Featured post

Nov
20
What is Flirtology?

Flirtology is a science-based method of teaching flirting. Using scientific research, and proven flirting techniques, I can help anyone to become a Fearless Flirter.

I have helped thousands of others, and I can help you too. Are you ready to take a major fork in the road, which will positively affect the rest of your life? Welcome to Flirtology!

girlinsun

Sep
25
How to Approach Without Fear

As part of my 6-session coaching package with clients, I take them out, on a wing-person night out, to my favourite bar in central London. In small groups, I teach them how to make the most of their opportunities while they are out and about. We look at things such as where to position yourself, what to look for in body language, and what to say in order to start a conversation. Last week, I held one of these evenings. They are always great fun and people are surprised at how friendly and receptive most people are. I say ‘most’ because, let’s face it, there are always the small minority that aren’t interested in chatting. And that is just fine.

So, I sent them off to have a look around, to see who was there, to check out peoples’ responses, to gauge who looks open and approachable and, most importantly, check out who is making eye contact with them! One of the women noticed a guy checking out the other woman – this is the beauty of having a wing-person; it’s easier to notice these signs for someone else, than it is for yourself. I suggested that the two of them go over to where the guy was standing in order to be in close enough proximity to ask him a question. A few minutes later, they returned.

‘We failed,’ they said.
‘Did you consciously and proactively make a decision to do something?’
‘Yes,’ they replied.
‘Did you do exactly what you wanted to do?’
‘Yes,’ they replied
‘So you walked over, stood near him, with open body language, and you didn’t see an opportunity to ask a question?’
‘No,’ they said.
‘Then you did everything that you could do on your part. You succeeded. You won! We do not link our success rate to the actions of others; we link it to our own actions…the only thing that we actually have control over’.

When we do what we want to do: we take action, we say what we are feeling, we set boundaries, we say ‘no thank you’ when we don’t feel it, then we always win. The measurement of success is when you, with conscious awareness, follow what you want to do. How other people react is not your responsibility, nor your concern. Feels better, right?

If you think you could use some extra help with this, please have a look at the handy, dandy infographic below.

screen-shot-2016-09-24-at-10-23-07

couple-city-view

Sep
18
Finding the Right Partner – The Easy Way!

There are several instances why people might need my help in finding a partner. Sometimes it’s because they are shy, or perhaps they can’t get over a ex and move forward, or maybe they don’t know how to read interest, or show someone they are interested. My last client had a different issue; he came to me for help after having had two, unsuccessful relationships, that left him heartbroken. You might be surprised to hear this, but he was the one doing the breaking up. Why was he so devestated then? He had invested 9-12 months in both cases, and still cared about both women. What seems to be the problem? In both cases, he had chosen to invest time, energy and emotion, into lovely women, but who were not right for him. And, as much as he enjoyed spending time with them both, eventually, the doom of his actions would set in; he would realise that this person wasn’t the one whom he could see being with ‘happily ever after’.

One of the greatest assets that I have discovered, which helps people in their partner search, are ‘The 5 Deal Breakers’. Unsurprisingly, he had no idea what his deal-breakers were. He was just dating people whom he had fun with and thought were pretty. After we made a personalised list of his deal-breakers he realised that, in both cases, the women were missing a few of his essential needs. In his case, it was wanting to live in the city and being intellectually curious.  For the long-term, they were not fits. If he had known these deal-breakers before, they would have stopped him from getting so involved, and affecting several peoples’ hearts.

When we start dating someone new, we are often carried away by things about the other person that are certainly nice, and perhaps exciting, but won’t sustain a relationship for the long haul. Before you start jumping into the rabbit’s den, again, take stock of what your 5 deal-breakers are. They will be your guide.

If you are serious about finding a partner this fall, stop wasting time, energy and money on things that don’t provide results. If you think I am the one who can help you then come join us without delay. My new course, ‘8 Weeks to a Match: Find Your Partner this Fall’ is 75% full. (The majority of these places are filled by people who thought about joining last year and didn’t!) We will be going over your deal-breakers, where to meet people, and how to flirt amongst much more. This course is open to both women and men.  There are two early bird places left, which means a £150 discount for you!

woman walking grafitti

Sep
11
Don’t like Your Results? Try Something Different

Still doing the same ol’ things, but expecting different results? Let me tell you about Julia.

Julia has a date. With a cute boy. Whom she likes a lot. Do you want one of those? Then do what Julia did. Or, rather, do what Julia did differently then what she would have normally done.

Julia was invited to a birthday party of a new acquaintance. Since she didn’t know anyone there, she invited Dianne to come as back-up. Unfortunately, Dianne came down with a cold, so Julia did something she had never done before…she went by herself.

Julia found a nice group of women to talk to and, normally, she would have happily stayed put all evening. But, she decided to do something else that she hadn’t ever done before; she went over and introduced herself to three guys who looked like they were having fun. As it happens, she really hit it off when one of them. She then made sure that she was sitting next to him when they all sat down for dinner, another thing she wouldn’t have normally done. Unfortunately, they lost track of each other after dinner, and she didn’t get to say good-bye. However, the signals were strong, and she had nothing to lose, so she did something else that she had never done before; she emailed the host, asking her for the guy’s details. And, she contacted him. After a couple flirty exchanges, they are meeting up next week.

Continue reading

man-swimming-e1430247713521-624x251

Aug
28
One Question and Then Decide

What is the first thing that happens after deciding that you ‘like’ someone? Whether it’s someone whom you already know or someone you’ve just spotted, after adding the like label, does everything just become easy? With a relaxed confidence, do you stride over and immediately introduce yourself? My guess is no. What I found with my clients is that once they identify that they like someone, the next feeling is pressure…

Let’s say that, somehow, despite the added pressure, you do manage to go over and say hi. Do you find that the person’s inside is as gorgeous as their outside? Do you still ‘like’ the person, once you’ve actually had a conversation? On the other hand, has it ever happened that you didn’t initially find someone attractive, and had even written them off, but after speaking to them, your interest rose?

Continue reading