Chemistry is not your friend.
I have nothing against chemistry, or fireworks for that matter. My problem is when you use it as your main requirement to judge whether someone is suitable for you or not. All this hocus pocus is harming you, my friend. My reasons are two-fold.
1) Chemistry is sexy, sizzling and exciting. All the perfect requirements for a quick, hot, short-term encounter. And, if this is what you are looking for, by all means, this is a perfect criteria. But, does this also mean that if you are looking for a long-term encounter, that sexy, sizzling and exciting are equally important? In a study asking happily married couples about the success of their 15+ year relationships, they found the couples said the same two around the secret of their relationship success:
a) Their partner was their best friend
b) They really liked their partner as a person.
While this might not be the sexiest thing you’ve ever heard, I doubt these happily married couples care.
I can already hear your protests. Let me get on to my next point then.
2) Contrary to all we have been fed via romcoms and women’s mags, that when it’s the ‘right’ person, you will be able to feel it, chemistry and attraction can actually be manufactured. Yes, that’s right; you can create a spark through your actions, with eye contact, touch, laughter and body language. These all create feel good chemicals in the body and rewards the left side of the brain. And, just because the chemistry is not there immediately, doesn’t mean it won’t appear later, with a bit of help from you. This is excellent news, because it means you don’t have to go for the hot, bad boy on the Harley. It means you can be happy with the lovely, kind, funny guy and can still be attracted to him.
If you find you are constantly going for the wrong person, or realize that you are putting way too much emphasis on this thing chemistry business, let me help you out. Your perfect match could be right under your nose, but due to all the smoke and haze from your failed chemistry experiment, you might not be able to see it.
Attraction can be created. If you want to learn more about how to do this, come to any of my upcoming events listed below. Or if you would like specific advice, pertaining to your situation, contact me for my private coaching packages.