The science of flirting. Used to help people achieve better outcomes in a minefield of romantically-based social interactions. Focusing on the signs of attraction, flirting skills and self-image, Flirtology is used to help people establish new and effective flirting behaviours.
What stops you from walking up to anyone you’d like and having a conversation with him/her? Most likely, it’s the fear of rejection. Or, as I like to call it, a made up story, to a made-up outcome, that your mind creates for you, resulting in you never following through with your intentions.
How many opportunities have been lost because of the following pattern. A. You see someone you want to speak with B. Your mind creates reasons not to do it, including how this stranger will react and what they will think of you. C. You do nothing…again. *sigh*
Rejection is not your problem. Your current view of rejection is the problem. Most likely, you view it as hurtful, scary, and unpleasant. What if I told you that this is only one view? It’s not the ‘truth’, it’s just one way of looking at it.
The Daily Mail has revealed that the world’s most effective chat up line is, ‘Have you tried this apple?’. (Below, you can read articles from The Daily Mail and The Telegraph about their flirt coach experiences with Flirtology) Meanwhile, I am about to reveal the world’s most effective formula for finding the perfect partner.
(Commonality+proximity) + Your Choice + Multiple Interactions = Success
Last week I wrote in detail about the importance of being around people with shared commonality and proximity. You might want to review that here. But let me break this formula down for you.
- Commonality and Proximity – Research has shown that our levels of compatibility are highest with people whom we share commonalities. Bonus, you are probably already in places where you have things in common with people. Just be more proactive about it.
- Your choice – Let’s face it, you are happy to look at countless flats before moving in. And, you don’t curl into a ball, gently sobbing, for every job that you don’t get. What is it about this area of our lives that make us lose all perspective? Science has shown that when we do the choosing, we are happier with the results. Whilst this holds true in most parts of our lives, we need to make sure it happens in the love part too! Why don’t you come on the next flirting tour to find out how to take advantage of all of these opportunities happening around you in your daily life?
- Multiple interactions- It’s a numbers game. Not a random, numbers game, but a carefully considered, highly efficient, numbers game. It’s simple. Have numerous ‘chats’, in places where you share commonality and proximity with people, and you will be guaranteed to find someone you connect with.
Daily Mail article on Flirt Coaching experience with Flirtology
Telegraph article on Flirt Coaching experience with Flirtology
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Have I ever told you how I met my husband? We lived in the same neighborhood and kept running into each other. I was teaching pilates at our local health club and he attended my class, every Thursday night, back left-hand corner. We also both liked swimming, so we’d run into each other at the gym’s swimming pool on the weekends. And we’d bump into each other at the supermarket, our mutually favorite coffee shop, and even the high street. This continued to happen, so one day we decided to meet at our favorite coffee shop by choice, rather than chance. From that point we got to know each other, and liked what we saw. The rest, my friends, is history. What does this mean for you? It means that using the variables of commonality and proximity are very powerful ways to meet a like-minded partner.
I am a big fan of Victoria Beckham’s. One of the things that I admire most about her is that she knows her advantages, and works them! Contrary to the popular belief that she doesn’t smile because she’s a miserable cow, the real reason that she isn’t smiling, whilst posing for picture, is that she doesn’t look her best smiling (one of the few people in the world, who doesn’t look better with a smile). But, she knows that her famous pout shows off her other fine attributes, namely, her razor sharp cheekbones. I wonderful if VB is part French? Whilst researching for my book, The Flirt Interpreter, I noticed the French women were also very attuned to what their personal strengths were and how to best use them.
I recently had a male client who was quite shy, which he hid behind a formal and reserved demeanor. However, when he smiled, one couldn’t help but melt. He came to me because he was having trouble attracting women. I told him to get rid of the formal front and utilise his engaging smile. So, what’s the key to attraction?