Flirtology is a science-based method of teaching flirting. Using scientific research, and proven flirting techniques, I can help anyone to become a Fearless Flirter.
I have helped thousands of others, and I can help you too. Are you ready to take a major fork in the road, which will positively affect the rest of your life? Welcome to Flirtology!
I find that when it comes to conversations there are two groups of people: talkers and listeners. A talker, with self-awareness, is capable of listening. However, a talker who is feeling nervous might not have that same awareness, which means they just keep talking and talking…
A listener is usually happy to ask a question or two, and then just sit back in cruise control mode. ‘My work here is done’ they think, as the talker just keeps going, oblivious to what the listener has orchestrated: have the other person do all the talking while they, quietly retreat behind their smiles and occasional nods. The listener ends up not sharing anything about themselves; and, quite frankly, that suits them just fine.
When flirting and creating rapport, the main goal is to make the other person feel special; it’s letting them know, ‘I get you. I know you are unique, and I like that’. Let me ask you, from the ‘talker’ and ‘listener’ situation above, do you think flirting and creating rapport can be achieved?
Whist both talker and listeners are quite comfortable in their roles, having fine-tuned them, they aren’t doing them any favours. The talkers are coming across as a self-involved bores. No one is that interesting. The listeners are hiding. Most likely they are afraid of being rejected for, what they deem, as ‘exposing’ themselves. And, they are clever; they know that most people love talking about themselves, so they use it as a safety blanket. Fortunately, I have a trick that will help both parties.
A friend of mine is off to NYC today to discover the joys of Big Apple Flirting. Knowing that I researched the flirting behaviour of its inhabitants for my book, The Flirt Interpreter, she asked me if I had any tips. Below is a compiled list of Do’s and Don’ts when flirting in NYC.
When in New York… DO:
- Wait three to six dates to faire amour if you really like someone.
- Understand that ‘going after what you want’ takes on a whole new meaning in NY. Be prepared to be steam-rolled.
- Feel free to engage in eye foreplay. I mean, stare… up, down… and up again.
- Flirt with as many people as your little heart desires in one night. Why settle for only one when something better might come along?
- Flirt shamelessly with anyone who can get you a drink, get a drink for free, get into a club, or do you any sort of favours.
- Expect some people to have the ego of an elephant and the memory of a gnat.
- Brush up on your body language 101. New Yorkers know the handbook by heart.
- Expect to meet lots of people on a night out. If you want to be alone, then you should stay at home!
- Touch, touch and touch. This city flirts with its fingers…
- Expect flirtatious encounters at all places or times. A funeral, your dentist’s office, a church, it makes no difference.
When in New York… DON’T:
- Beat around the bush. Straight talking and upfront is the favoured style of New Yorkers
Nikki came to me recently (not her real name). She had been divorced for over a year, and was having fun dating again. She had signed up to E-Harmony and was going on dates 4 nights a week. Although the quantity of dates was abundant, the quality was not. She felt that she was way too assertive, educated and ambitious for most of the men she met online. This isn’t to say there was anything wrong with them, or her, but they just weren’t good fits. This is the false illusion that online dating brings. You feel you are being proactive, because you are able to go on numerous dates, but the people you are meeting are not good fits. So, Nikki changed tactics, with an incredible result!