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Nov
20
What is Flirtology?

FlirtologyDating Expert

noun. flərt·ˈäləjē

The science of flirting. Used to help people achieve better outcomes in a minefield of romantically-based social interactions. Focusing on the signs of attraction, flirting skills and self-image, Flirtology is used to help people establish new and effective flirting behaviours.

Dec
14
Dating Mistake 4 and What to do About it

Over the last month, we have been addressing mistakes that people make whilst looking for a partner. And, frankly, you’ve come a long way!

  • You have gone back to the beginning and addressed some critical issues that have been holding you back from being your best self.
  • You are more in touch with the important things that matter in a potential partner.
  • And, you’ve stopped looking for someone else to fill something for you.

And here, on our last week, we will address your last mistake.

Mistake 4: You expect magic to happen just by being in the right place.

You are off to a great start; you have identified activities which you are genuinely interested in, and you have gotten yourself there. Now all you have to do is sit back and wait, right? Wrong! I often hear clients complaining that they are going to all the right places and still never meet anyone. What you do whilst there is just as important as where you are going.

Remember that once you’re in the right place it’s just a numbers game. Strike up conversations with as many people as possible. You aren’t looking to get married in the next hour – you’re just looking to meet some nice people! Perhaps give yourself a task at the beginning of the night, for example: I will speak with 5 different people tonight. If you think you need more help in this area, why not join the newest Flirtology Programme, 8 Weeks to a Match: Find a Partner by Spring. All will be revealed next Friday!

In the meantime, read my solution
Solution 4: 6 PARTY FLIRTING TIPS: Maximise your chances of meeting a match

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Dec
05
Dating Mistake 3 and What to do about it…

In my flirt coaching, I often come across people who would like to learn how to flirt in order  to attract someone they like. Whilst helping such a large number of people, I have recognised that people make the same four mistakes when wanting to find a partner.

Today’s post is number 3 in this 4-part series, which is dedicated to helping you learn what you are doing wrong and how to fix it.

Mistake 3: Looking for someone else to fill something missing in your life.

The ideal is that when we come together with our ‘perfect’ match, that we don’t need him or her to fulfill something missing in us. I have written in the past about the danger of expectation (not to be confused with standards). I’ve met people who were looking for a partner to fulfill various requirements: children, a better housing situation, or just someone to make them ‘happier’.

When we look for potential partners, hoping they can do any of the above for us, it means we are not putting forth our best selves. We are entering a potential relationship, expecting someone else to fix us. For many, this search isn’t about finding a great match, it’s about finding someone who can fill the hole. As we know, this is only a temporary solution.

Solution 3: Work on developing yourself whilst keeping your eyes open

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Nov
30
Dating Mistake 2 and What to do about it…

In my flirt coaching, I often come across people who would like to learn how to flirt in order  to attract someone they like. Whilst helping such a large number of people, I have recognised that people make the same four mistakes when wanting to find a partner.

Today’s post is number 2 in this 4-part series, which is dedicated to helping you learn what you are doing wrong and how to fix it. If this topic interests you, keep a look out for my new progamme, 8 Weeks to a Match: Find your Partner by Spring. I’ll be sharing it with you in the next few weeks.

Mistake 2: Placing importance on the wrong things

Credit: MyDearValentin

Credit: MyDearValentin

Internet dating. Tindr. The way we meet people has changed. Unfortunately, these mechanisms force us to focus on things are aren’t important in people, and drag us away from what is. Using these mechanisms, we are forced to make decisions about people whom, if we met in real life, wouldn’t matter. These mechanisms make it all about what is quantifiable: height, weight, income, the superficialities.

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Nov
23
Dating Mistake 1 and What to do About it…

As a Flirtologist, I often come across people who would like to learn how to flirt in order  to attract someone they like. Whilst helping such a large number of people, I have recognised that people make the same four mistakes when wanting to find a partner. To be clear, it’s not hard to find a partner; it’s not hard to have a wedding. What I want for you is a wonderful, well-matched partner, one that you will still be delightfully happy with in 20 years time. Now, finding him/her needs a different approach. Therefore, these next four weeks will be dedicated to helping you learn what you are doing wrong and how to fix it.

Mistake 1: Starting Your Search at the end of the Journey.

If this whole dating process seems like a lot of hard work, it’s most likely because you are doing it wrong. Quite possibly, you are approaching it in the wrong order, working on the final steps first, without considering the ones that come before. It’s like running a marathon, but only showing up a mile before the finish line. What about the practice? The warm-up? The first 25 miles?

It’s no use only putting your energy and attention into ‘tip of the iceberg’ things, such as how to make eye contact and deciding which online dating site you will gift with your hard-earned money. First, you must complete the steps that come at the beginning, such as, knowing what you are looking for in a partner, where to find them and, most importantly, being happy with yourself. Otherwise, you could be wearing the best outfit, know exactly how to seduce anyone, but if you don’t ultimately believe that anyone finds you attractive, then there is no point.

Solution 1:

Lipstick applied? Check! Rockin’ the gorgeous new top? Check! Tickets for cool art event in hand? Check! Excellent, all the external elements are in place. The only thing missing now is your belief that you can attract people. Without this, the rest is irrelevant.

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