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What is Flirtology?

FlirtologyDating Expert

noun. flərt·ˈäləjē

The science of flirting. Used to help people achieve better outcomes in a minefield of romantically-based social interactions. Focusing on the signs of attraction, flirting skills and self-image, Flirtology is used to help people establish new and effective flirting behaviours.

Chemistry is all Hocus Pocus

Chemistry is not your friend.

I have nothing against chemistry, or fireworks for that matter. My problem is when you use it as your main requirement to judge whether someone is suitable for you or not. All this hocus pocus is harming you, my friend. My reasons are two-fold.

1) Chemistry is sexy, sizzling and exciting. All the perfect requirements for a quick, hot, short-term encounter. And, if this is what you are looking for, by all means, this is a perfect criteria. But, does this also mean that if you are looking for a long-term encounter, that sexy, sizzling and exciting are equally important? In a study asking happily married couples about the success of their 15+ year relationships, they found the couples said the same two around the secret of their relationship success:Lulu1523

a)    Their partner was their best friend

b)   They really liked their partner as a person.

While this might not be the sexiest thing you’ve ever heard, I doubt these happily married couples care.

I can already hear your protests. Let me get on to my next point then.

2) Contrary to all we have been fed via romcoms and women’s mags, that when it’s the ‘right’ person, you will be able to feel it, chemistry and attraction can actually be manufactured. Yes, that’s right; you can create a spark through your actions, with eye contact, touch, laughter and body language. These all create feel good chemicals in the body and rewards the left side of the brain. And, just because the chemistry is not there immediately, doesn’t mean it won’t appear later, with a bit of help from you. This is excellent news, because it means you don’t have to go for the hot, bad boy on the Harley. It means you can be happy with the lovely, kind, funny guy and can still be attracted to him.

If you find you are constantly going for the wrong person, or realize that you are putting way too much emphasis on this thing chemistry business, let me help you out. Your perfect match could be right under your nose, but due to all the smoke and haze from your failed chemistry experiment, you might not be able to see it.

Attraction can be created. If you want to learn more about how to do this, come to any of my upcoming events listed below. Or if you would like specific advice, pertaining to your situation, contact me for my private coaching packages.


How to Attract a Man, How to Attract a Woman

Surprise, I am posting on a Saturday night. I know a lot of you will go out tonight, hoping to meet the man or woman or your dreams (or someone to keep you warm!).

Credit: Noel Teo

Credit: Noel Teo

In case you run out of ways to approach, just pull out this handy, dandy guide on how to make the opposite sex swoon. My personal favourite is, “you must be a parking ticket, because you’ve got fine written all over you.” (Feel free to use it. I’d be honoured.)

Happy Flirting!

Pick up lines guaranteed to get you some action!

If you’d like to put these lines into practice, come along to one of our Flirting and Walking Tours!

How to Find a Husband or How to Find a Wife

You are ready. After a decade of meeting people, playing around, and having fun, you have decided that it’s time to be in a long-term relationship. You are in good company. Many people come to me asking ‘How to Find a Husband’ or ‘How to Find a Wife’. And I help them, and they find one.

Credit: Nadine Gillespie

Credit: Nadine Gillespie

But, finding a person to marry isn’t the hard part. It’s finding the right person to marry that is the hard part. I often ask people who are in happy, long-term relationships, what they think is the key to making their relationship.

I asked my friend Simon, who recently celebrated his 20-year anniversary with his wife. He said, “once you have the right person, it’s easy. It’s finding the right person that is the hard part!”

His answer surprised me. I was expecting him to say things like ‘good communication skills’, ‘compromising’ and ‘not trying to change the other person’. But his response made me realize that all of those things are important, but if you are with the wrong person, none of it will help.

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How not to Look Needy and Desperate

You will probably recognize the scene: you went out with a really cool guy that you actually fancied. (How long has it been since that’s happened?!)

You didn’t exactly secure a second date whilst on the first one, but that is fine. You should wait a few days before sending a follow up email. Chances are, if he really likes you, he will contact you first.

Credit: Online 36

Credit: Online 36

However, we can’t always rely on that rule. Until a male is well and truly ‘reeled in’ he can be pretty ambivalent. After all, unlike you, who is planning your future together (slow down honey, it was only one date!), he is carrying on living his life. And so should you! Sure, it’s fine to send a breezy email a few days later, but if there is even a hint of desperation, the game is over. You’ve blown it.

Here is an email from one of my clients (with her permission) on what not to do. Thankfully, she sent it to me first to help edit and, consequently, ended up getting a second date. After I showed her my version, she said, “Aha! No wonder I never get any second dates when I send emails!”

Read the un-edited version first followed by my changes explained:

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